July 28, 2011

Waiting for a SIGN


I support my children in every way possible. I even support there silly hobbies or sudden interest in the latest fad but what I don’t quite understand fully is my oldest daughters view on relationships.

I have a lot of respect for her, she is only 19 and her faith in God is at the highest of priority and always has been. Her goals for her future have been set in stone since she was a little girl. She is putting herself through college and has impressed us all!! But the only thing that she hasn’t experienced is LOVE, she has never dated and this is where her and her sister are at odds.

I wouldn’t say she has “old school beliefs” it’s more like "old world" beliefs. She believes that she will know whom she will marry when she sees the man. That she was raised that the man she will date will be the man she will marry and that her sister needs to stop having these “flings” with boys if she has no desire to marry them.  

Now when she states this was how she was raised….well I know I never said anything of the sort to her and her father wouldn’t have said this because he was way too busy with his “flings” before and after we were married. So unless she was transported back to the 1800’s or some Amish country in a night,  I’m not certain how she has come to way of thinking.

I just fear that she believes that it’s going to be like the movies or like the characters in her pioneer / Amish Christian books where there is one boy and one girl and WHAMMO happily ever after. No guy is going to stand holding up a sign saying “I’ve been sent here from God  I’m the one”. That’s not how it is , it’s not as simple and G rated as she thinks.  I wish it was but it’s not.  Theres a lot involved and yes theres no problem with meeting a guy, becoming friends ……eventually date with that little giddy girl feeling anticipating the possibility of marriage and see if you two are compatible to withstand a lifetime of marriage.  

I see her give her sister advice about relationships.......but as i keep my mouth shut i ponder "shouldn't you experience a relationship and love before you start dishing out advice on relationships".....her sister tries to debate her side but theres no wining in this scenario.