tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26458593252977993442024-03-12T20:35:35.741-07:00Life as I know it...the good,the bad and the unexpectedUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger143125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2645859325297799344.post-23262814723985001912011-10-24T17:44:00.000-07:002011-10-24T17:44:22.444-07:00Hanging up my blogging shoes...for awhile<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have come to a difficult decision….I think I am going to
hang up my blogging shoes for awhile so I can just focus on a few things. I
feel that some of my blogs could be classified as Class A Debbie Downers and
that’s not why I choose to blog. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have a lot on my plate……..stressing about the move,
wondering if I am going to have enough money to make it work, making sure the
kids are on track with their classes, making sure I make time to complete my
assignments, trying to deal with the realization of loosing the money I put
into a car that I have to unfortunately give back because of the current
situation. The frustrations pertaining to my current situation/marriage and
most importantly my faith because even though I know God has a plan and we have
to put our lives in his hands……………………..this is what I did 2 ½ years ago, but
did I really put it in Gods hands? Honestly, I haven’t gone to church since
this all happened…………..i’ve listened to my Pastors sermons online but that’s
just not the same as going, because I’m not really fully paying attention. I
haven’t closed myself off ….that’s not what I’m saying…….I just have some
personal, deep rooted issues that I need to work out. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Certain things I feel aren’t fair..I flipping work my ass
off and have through out my whole life
and certain people can just slide by as like nothing has happened, can lose a
job but yet money comes to them, can come back and live in a house like nothing
has happened………………..</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Anyways……..until my life is a little bit more together and
less stressed…….i’m going to take a little break……lets see how things go after
the move which is in 2 weeks.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2645859325297799344.post-38360323887036322102011-10-20T18:48:00.000-07:002011-10-20T18:48:25.064-07:00Just venting....<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 9.0pt;">I’m beyond stressed and
annoyed today. I can’t stand knowing that all he gets to do is come back
into the house once I leave and pick up where he left off…well minus me
and my 2 dogs. He doesn’t have to come up with stupid deposits for the
electricity ($101) , gas ($50), Time Warner ($240)(cable,internet,phone), and
let’s not talk about the first and last for the apartment plus pet
deposit ($1000 +), or the Uhaul ($40 +) that is going to move all my stuff. By
his lack of self control that one day, my children’s life and mine have
been turned around, yes for the better……….but still
inconvenient and stressful. I have to give up my Explorer, ruin my credit
because I can’t afford a place AND a car payment (thank god I
didn’t sell my car which was paid off), I have to move, I have to come up
with money that I don’t have, I have to rent “to own” just to
make my place a comfortable living situation for me and my children. Again
while he sits at HIS home, with HIS children ……….not having
to give up anything or be put out. How does that make sense? He did the
crime…..and then some, but it’s costing me an arm and a leg. </span></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 9.0pt;">I’m sitting here at work
trying to keep it together…..I haven’t broken down in weeks just
because I’ve been too busy with trying to get things packed for the move
and figuring out if I am going to have enough money for EVERYTHING. I am trying
to stay composed in front of my kids because other stresses have appeared and
those need to be addressed. I’m kicking myself for selling my
things when I moved in with him 2 years ago, but again how was I suppose to
know that this would be our future? I guess I really never had a place
considering he never gave up some of his dresser space, only gave me one drawer
in the night stand on my side…..I was only lucky enough it get a plastic
multi drawer thing in the closet and a broken dresser….which I can’t
even get into…..so I have no idea what clothes have been held captive. It
would have been nice for him to fix it all those times he was at home not
working or even making room for me in his dresser…..but whatever……that’s
another thing I need to add to the list of things I need…………a
dresser!! </span></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 9.0pt;">It’s not like I
haven’t been on my own before, I
have………………..but see he was my best friend
and he went and put us in this position. Yes, I’m not saying that he is
completely at fault we have been spinning downward for quite some time…I
just wished he would have taken control of HIS life when I asked him to instead
of lecturing me about my life and my weight. There are so many things that
happen in my day that I would normally share with him but now I just keep it to
myself. Whatever…..I will get over it like one day I will get over
fearing him but I know that will take a very long time. </span></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 9.0pt;">But right now, I have to
figure out how to make ends meet for this move and maintain focus while I am at
work because this is what pays the bills and takes care of my family. </span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2645859325297799344.post-91350847859630461162011-10-19T19:42:00.000-07:002011-10-20T18:48:25.070-07:00I have to do ...what??<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdOi8CNGN7i8Pwj1r2laPwvca-jWRrzfbgS7-01RY4iBbuGs_EWKNdke8yTeGcJ49M_E5sgUfh7dQ4ZjsVxuPJzDuceUhsOXzBtIKDaorx0fmVLqzaKiU0xK3VPvKPCs51-ZMtPVlTgpvX/s1600/speak.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdOi8CNGN7i8Pwj1r2laPwvca-jWRrzfbgS7-01RY4iBbuGs_EWKNdke8yTeGcJ49M_E5sgUfh7dQ4ZjsVxuPJzDuceUhsOXzBtIKDaorx0fmVLqzaKiU0xK3VPvKPCs51-ZMtPVlTgpvX/s1600/speak.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
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<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span>I hate having to stand up and
present to others. I don’t mind training on a one on one basis but when
my boss approached me last week and told me that I had to give a presentation on customer
service at the next department meeting, I had flash backs of grade school, junior high and high school. Now, I
don’t have any of those horror stories where I had a whole class laugh at
me or that I made a complete full out of myself. I really don’t know
where the fear came from, maybe somewhere in my subconscious there is a memory
that I have locked up and buried but all I know is that I would wish for the
flu or I just took the F in school if it meant that I had to present in front
of the class ALONE. Come to think of it I was too nervous to give a speech at my sisters wedding!!!</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span>As the days approached to give
the presentation I managed to push it in the back of my head, I didn’t
want to deal with it. Well Monday came and I knew Wednesday was just around the
corner and I hadn’t even started prepping for the presentation. Monday
night came and I couldn’t even settle down, I have known my co-workers
for more than 4 years so you would think I would be comfortable enough to stand
up in front of them, but nope……..and what in the world am I going
to talk about that hasn’t already been said week after week? Tuesday
morning came….urgh……I scanned articles online and put
something together and gave a proof to my boss to review. I got the big 2
thumbs up…..that didn’t help the nerves……which carried
on to this morning and when I’m anxious I get the most uncontrollable
stomach ache so I made the conscious decision to not eat or drink until after
the meeting!! My boss who was aware of my stupid childish fear told me
everything was going to be ok and then threw in a big unexpected AND “by
the way the other department head wants you to present in their meeting as
well!” ………...OHHHH MYYYY GOD!!! Seriously????
yes….so seriously!!...............i had NO time to fake an illness
because the meeting started……under the table my leg were shaking and
I felt my nerves get the best of me. Then it was my turn……so I did
my best and gave my presentation, I knew I stumbled over a few things but as I
looked around the room , I saw my close co-workers and my boss sitting there
smiling on. The second presentation went well also……and I got
positive feed back afterwards!!!! </span></span></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span>Has today cured my
fear……HECK NO!!! I hope I’m good for quite sometime!!</span></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2645859325297799344.post-43422802156269010902011-10-17T20:30:00.000-07:002011-10-17T20:30:15.271-07:00Lily says "TIME OUT"This is Lilys way of saying "enough with the homework already!!"......but what's she's forgetting is that I've just spent an hour or more playing with her and her son Dart!!!<br />
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<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2645859325297799344.post-15604363394354182902011-10-15T14:10:00.000-07:002011-10-15T14:10:31.353-07:00Moving ....againI hate moving..............I hate the whole packing process although I've moved so many times that I should have the routine down. Tape, Marker, Trash bags....boxes.....and a new item that has made it onto the list .....WINE!!<br />
<br />
So this is how I'm spending my Saturday and I have to admit I'm a bit annoyed. I didn't think I would ever have to move again and even though I'm not a hoarder....I have my fair share of stuff, but I guess this gives me the perfect opportunity to toss a lot of things out that I don't need, want or WANT to transport to my new place.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2645859325297799344.post-26768245665594734342011-10-14T21:45:00.000-07:002011-10-14T21:45:23.565-07:00Fake Forgivers<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="ecxmsonormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="ecxmsonormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span>This is something that was
brought up in counseling this morning. For the past week I have been told by a
friend who is very deep into the church that I need to forgive the Mister for the
incident that happened a couple weeks back. Now, I know that God is a forgiving
God and I know that I was taught in Catholic school to forgive others because
God forgave us for our sins……but here’s where I am at. If I “forgave” him
without a pure heart then I really haven’t forgiven his actions and I wouldn't really have moved on. </span></span></div>
<div class="ecxmsonormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><div class="ecxmsonormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span>My counselor agreed and
mentioned how she recently went to a religious seminar and the topic was fake
forgivers. She proceeded to state that there is no timeline for you to forgive
someone especially when the incident of the action was still fresh. For
her she stated that when she grows irritated at her own anger or realizes that
the issue isn’t relevant to her present then she has to forgive to be a better
person for her own personal growth. She brought up a scenario that when
something of a horrific matter happens and you hear that a family member
declares they have forgiven the person the following day it’s not really forgiveness……because
again the matter is still fresh and you haven’t dealt with the feelings of the
situation. </span></span></div>
<div class="ecxmsonormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><div class="ecxmsonormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span>I admit I’m guilty of being
a fake forgiver. I would pretend to forgive the person but because I never
quite put it behind me I always seemed to throw the situation out there as a
dig….a hurtful dig. I knew it was wrong and I knew that it was wrong for saying
I forgave the person for their actions when in fact I was still holding onto
the hurt and not working on confronting the hurt or situation. I’ve learned now
that forgiveness is completely letting go of the past, it’s pain, its anger and
grief. Forgiveness is operating in the here and now, where the even t is no
longer occurring.</span></span></div>
<div class="ecxmsonormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><div class="ecxmsonormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span>I know I’m not ready to
forgive, for me the inward scares are still so fresh. I’m not saying that I
will never forgive…..I will, but in time. I need to know that it’s pure and not
fake. <span> </span>In time my anger and fear will
work itself out with prayer and counseling…..and each day is a new day for self
growth.</span></span></div>
<div class="ecxmsonormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="ecxmsonormal" style="text-align: center;">
<strong style="color: #674ea7;">as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must
forgive</strong><span style="color: #674ea7;">. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything
together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your
hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.</span><br style="color: #674ea7;" /><span style="color: #674ea7;">
Colossians 3:11-15</span><span style="font-size: 9.0pt;"></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2645859325297799344.post-18727530441106887822011-10-12T17:49:00.000-07:002011-10-12T20:04:07.149-07:00Never quite good enough<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">When I first met the Misters
family I got the impression that they were about family and it even became more
evident when we announced we were going to get married. Talk about being
swarmed with unconditional love, his mother called to talk to me about my day,
her day, the wedding almost daily. His father would greet me with a hug and a
loving smile, there would be girl lunches and family parties ;I felt like I hit
the family jack pot . HIs mother would often tell me
that they were my family now and this was due to the strain I have with my
parents.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Things changed drastically
when we cancelled the wedding due to issues that needed to be resolved prior to
us taking such a big step of “For better or worse”, it was like one
minute we were one big happy family, going to lunches and fittings and then the
next minute “poof” it all disappeared. His sisters stopped calling,
stopped returning my calls, his mother grew cold towards me and the hugs from
his dad stopped. The family get together (beside the Christmas party) we no
longer, it was strange. It took me awhile to understand the new family dynamic
and how his mother’s word wasn’t so. Even after we got married
things never returned to what I was introduced to. I have to admit I was sad,
it was all a façade and this family wasn’t as close as they claimed to be
but I accepted it and moved forward. I was touched by my mother in laws
gracious and kind gift a few months back to send me to see my sister for a nice
little weekend vacation, which I seriously needed. Of course in the back of my
mind I was thinking “whats the catch?”, “when will I have to
pay it back”, but she said it was a gift and told a story about her
relationship with her sisters. Yet again this gesture came out of nowhere but I
thanked her from the bottom of my heart.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Imagine my surprise when I
found out how my mother in law really felt about me. I knew she was upset about
the incident that went down between her son and I, I was amazed how she
condoned his actions and made me feel like I was a “nothing” in her
eyes or to the family. I was saddened how she threw in the fact that I had a
vacation on her dime and now she can’t take one because she has to bail
out her son. I didn’t ask them for any assistance to see my sister, I
would have found a way to spend time with her but now her act of graciousness
was tarnished. I allowed her to speak her peace which wasn’t so peaceful,
it stunned me actually and there standing beside her while giving me the riot
act was my father in law with his head hung low. I did explain to her my
actions, which I shouldn’t have but I did. I thought eventually she would
see things clearly and not be so judgmental towards me, but I was wrong.
It’s just getting worse, she now is feeding the Mister negative thoughts
about me like I am going to take him for all he has (to that I say…what does
he have?), I’m just going to run off with another man, I’m evil, I
never loved him, and heres what really hurt to hear, she stated that if the
Mister didn’t share all our drama with her she wouldn’t have all
this anger and hatred towards me. It’s as if she’s saying “only
if she (me) would have been submissive and not bring the tiger out of my son
this wouldn't have happened therefore this was all her doing”. </span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">I know she was delighted to
hear that I was moving out of her son’s home real soon and although she
claims she will stop enabling her son, I really don’t believe it. It just
breaks my heart that she sees me as this woman who is only out to destroy her
son’s life.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">I remember that Sunday
afternoon hours after the incident and my mother in law stood there telling me
and a few others about how she tells her granddaughters that if they find love
make sure the man they fall for doesn’t have a mom. Yes, I
know…..we were all confused by this statement. She continued to state
that she tells her granddaughters to run the other direction if the man’s
mother is still living because nothing good will come out of it, because the
mom will always be part of her sons life in all aspects. To this a few stepped
in and debated this statement but she was dead set on standing true to her
statement. I then thought...."is this what she would have liked me to do with her son before I met his family.....high tail it the other way and give up on the chance of a love so grand?". From the sounds of it.....maybe.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">She stated that she was always made to feel by her mother in law that she wasn't ever good enough for her son and how that made her feel awful.......well, if she could only look at how shes behaving. It's not any better than how she was made to feel by her mother in law. .........right?</span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2645859325297799344.post-50843346756896620772011-10-10T19:52:00.000-07:002011-10-11T07:43:59.114-07:00What a day....I'm glad it's almost over<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span>When I woke up this morning I
knew what day it was but I tried to not acknowledge it. I went about my morning
routine-took the dogs out, bowls full, Shower, picked the house up from the
dogs rough housing this morning, took my blankets and pillow from the couch to
my bedroom (lately I’ve felt more comfortable there), I caught myself
occasionally touching that ring that wasn’t there on my finger, instead
there that indention of a ring that once was. I kept stating my must do list to
myself just so I could stay on track. Crap, I have ten minutes to get to work,
where did the time go. </span></span></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span>On my way to work I gave
myself a little pep talk “ keep it together, don’t show them that you
are down, don’t show weakness, focus on the tasks at hand, when a thought
of the moment comes into your head banish it quick, work hard today, theres no
need for interference”. I’m pumped, I’m together and when I
sit down at my desk my boss comes to me and in front of the office says
“Happy Anniversary!” and pats me on my shoulder. “uhm
thanks” I said and logged into my computer, trying to hold it together.
“Why did she have to mention that, why after all she knows regarding what
happened, why would she say that?” Within minutes by pep talk vanished
from my head, clueless co-workers would stop me in the break room or bathroom
asking how my weekend to San Fran went or asking if I was receiving flowers
today or doing anything special. Those moments I just wanted to click my heels
together I say “I want to go home, I want to go home”, or yell to
Scotty to “Beam me up”! But I’m not that lucky. I pacified
their questions with an “ohh I don’t know” or “it was a
nice weekend” (when it wasn’t) and hurried my way back to the
safety of my cubicle. That’s when it hit…….that tonight I
will be enjoying a Lean Cusine for dinner and a glass of wine ALONE, while he
will be surrounded by his mommy and daddy getting sympathy or contacting some
old acquaintances looking for attention. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span>See that’s were we are
different. He will call people, mostly women to fill his void during troubling
times it sort of reminds me of the time he got fired from a previous job.
Somehow having them hear his side validates his actions, gives him a sense of
“some one cares”. Where I close up and this is my only outlet. I
don’t pull out my phone and feel the need to share the situation, I
don’t NEED to include our friends, family and acquaintances in on this
matter. I don’t even like talking to my good friends, sister, cousin or
parents about it. They don’t need to be sucked into the
drama……………and I know that they are just concerned
but I don’t want to talk about it. I already know that the wall that was
broken down is now up around me, it’s even stronger than before.
I’m full of so many different emotions that I can’t make sense of
them all. </span></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2645859325297799344.post-4578357175641963172011-10-08T20:56:00.000-07:002011-10-11T07:43:59.078-07:00A beautiful song ...... at the right time!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
After I wrote the blog below I came across a blog by <a href="http://beautifulmommyrom1015.blogspot.com/">Beautiful Mommy Feet</a> and on her play list was this song.......a song that I knew I'd hear in church. A song that I needed to hear ...............I will NOT be afraid because I know My God will protect me. <br />
<br />
Thank you.........Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2645859325297799344.post-2732822969932773292011-10-08T20:30:00.000-07:002011-10-11T07:44:07.711-07:00Fat Ass Pig<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m wishing these dogs would settle down. I need quiet. I
attempted to go to church tonight but I broke down in the parking lot. I broke
down because we go to church together; I broke down because I feared he would
show up, I feared that maybe he’d go to the house when I wasn’t there. I’m a
mess. Nothing and no one should keep me from attending church, I shouldn’t be fearful
but I was and I turned my car around and headed home. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have been keeping it together in front of my kids this
week but tonight they are with their dad and it’s been a day from hell. I try
and keep the Mister out of my head…….but fear creeps in…...a car that sounds
like his sets me off, when I went to the store I look to see if he’s
around, a mutual friend came by to get
some of his things and tried to tell me things that the Mister shared with him.
I explained to my friend that I didn’t want him to be the “middle man” anymore,
it wasn’t fair for him……..it’s not. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m full of emotions and I know this blog is all over the
place but that’s too be expected after a glass of wine and a mind full of mangled
mush. We were supposed to be in San Francisco tonight with my friends Leslie
and Ed, we were supposed to be going to 49er’s game tomorrow, we were supposed
to be celebrating our 1 year anniversary this weekend…………………….but I’m home with
my 4 dogs and he is off doing whatever he’s doing. Yahooing ex girlfriends,
talking to whomever for attention and sympathy. Sympathy my ass!!! He even had
the nerve to call my friend to apologize for his actions last night…….what an
ass!!! He’s done damage that he doesn’t
even know about. He promised he wasn’t like the others ……. He promised to
protect me, what a great job he did.
Being fearful is the worst…..it traps you. Being full of anxiety numbs
you…….and this is all because of him…….Happy Anniversary to me!!!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
OHHHH and to top it off…..I feel like Miranda in Sex and the
City where she made herself a chocolate cake and kept going back to it only to
pour soap on it …. I made myself some brownies….. you know,
chocolate/wine/girly flick without the girlfriends……..well……I’m about to pour
dish soap on those brownies because I don’t need to gain weight during this
mess…..the last thing I need to do is look like a fat pig…..OHHH wait ……I am a “F’in
fat ass pig” as the Mister stated to me last Sunday!!! </div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2645859325297799344.post-11367572042883704462011-10-07T19:03:00.001-07:002011-10-11T07:44:07.705-07:00Keeping it together<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Tonight we were supposed to be packing for our one year
anniversary trip to San Francisco, instead I spent the day at the courthouse
filing a restraining order against my husband.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He hasn't been back since last weekends occurrence and he won't be back
for awhile. No, he's not in jail.....his mommy bailed him out of that mess. So
he's staying with his parents and taking care of his issues. </div>
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<br /></div>
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As far as me well, I'm taking it one day at a time. I have
my moments of break down, unexpected tears falling when I'm in line at a check
out stand and I look over and there's a man telling his wife he loves her, or
like yesterday when I was at my sons football game and a couple was cheering on
their son, the husband looks over to her and says "you're so pretty, I
love you". <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I tried to be incognito
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suppose to protect you? I don't!!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
know some day I will get over the fear, get over the anxiety and become strong
again....but it will take time.....................a long time. </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2645859325297799344.post-11218485542242552272011-10-03T21:39:00.000-07:002011-10-11T07:44:13.092-07:00it all changed in a blink of an eye<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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The unexpected happened, and life as I know it will never be
the same anymore. I had wished our marriage was important to him. I wish he
would have just stepped back, walked away and took control of his anger .......now we are all having to face the consequences. a broken marriage.</div>
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<br /></div>
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more to come..........</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2645859325297799344.post-12048529913253173072011-09-27T20:01:00.000-07:002011-09-27T20:01:42.056-07:00No means....NO.....not ask me in 5 minutes<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3PYb-sTxvCNLOE9n8fTp4F_7Z9NMVzeZrmLkUyaIqdDmijZ74i37hyKMz4w9IEu0PbFkSNwlcn1Z_0JDWyc_d3kiBxlj9RuxiefmW0DFb32oIgNE1qJ8PwInsjFlqNF9x482Fbw4B8aQ1/s1600/money-grows-on-trees.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3PYb-sTxvCNLOE9n8fTp4F_7Z9NMVzeZrmLkUyaIqdDmijZ74i37hyKMz4w9IEu0PbFkSNwlcn1Z_0JDWyc_d3kiBxlj9RuxiefmW0DFb32oIgNE1qJ8PwInsjFlqNF9x482Fbw4B8aQ1/s1600/money-grows-on-trees.jpg" /></a></div>
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Unbeknownst to me I have a money tree in my backyard and I
have a dead rich uncle because my daughter seems to think that I have money
coming out of my ass. ………..and the last time I checked the leaves are just
LEAVES, I have no dead rich uncles and nothing is coming out of my ass except
for well…..the obvious.</div>
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I love hearing “I never ask for anything” before she asks
for something, but what she doesn’t recall is she has been asking to go to a
senior trip that is going to cost over $2500 and that was a big “UHM no I don’t
think so”, then it was a summer at my sisters place in Illinois which can be
done, but this week is “Can you get me a gym membership”. First off, if anyone
is going back to the gym it’s me and if I’m going to be paying for a gym
membership and driving to the gym I better be included. </div>
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I basically told her umpteen times last night and this
morning that I have no extra money to put towards this gym membership and if I
did then I wouldn’t have a problem, but with each NO and explanation I gave her
came a whiney request. This girl has some balls to keep pestering me…..I told
her that she can run around the block, use our stationary bike, use the 25
exercise DVD’s that are gathering dust…..of course to these suggestions she
stated “It’s boring”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told her “wait
till Christmas”……and of course that wasn’t good enough. “I can’t wait till Christmas;
I need to lose 50 pounds before the end of school its A NEED not a want”. </div>
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Seriously!!! …… at this point and 6 text messages later
(this morning) I about had it with her reasoning. I explained to her that this
is not a NEED and if she wanted to lose the weight she can stay after school
and use the gym there or run on the track and watch what she eats, or join me
for runs/walks with the dogs but that request always gets a “uhmmmm no I don’t
think so”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I explained to her that if
she continued to bring this subject up she WILL get in serious trouble, if she
wants this badly enough she can get a job so she can fund the monthly payments
towards a gym membership because right now I’m busy paying off her senior
pictures!</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2645859325297799344.post-71380850453128926832011-09-27T19:37:00.000-07:002011-10-09T08:14:43.810-07:00Welcome to my vent corner......want to vent??<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFxpeWbpG7RsPyPll-Inh_iPrY4Yl_57kIZa3GbzeRM_187HXNsQi3EecQoXPxw-27e9QNunuUuvePiYc2UY6ElCFn7vhmlism6VvcLkHv9JmIxyKqsKT3sq8mGuimM4CUzr9buP9DOjCL/s1600/vent.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFxpeWbpG7RsPyPll-Inh_iPrY4Yl_57kIZa3GbzeRM_187HXNsQi3EecQoXPxw-27e9QNunuUuvePiYc2UY6ElCFn7vhmlism6VvcLkHv9JmIxyKqsKT3sq8mGuimM4CUzr9buP9DOjCL/s1600/vent.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
I've kept my mouth shut for weeks ......but now I need to let it out and the only place I can let it out is here in my little corner, because if I express it to the Mister he will most likely say it's not true or it will just end up in a full on fight and personally I really don't want to get into a full blown fight 2 weeks before our 1 year anniversary.<br />
<br />
I don't know what it is but every time his boys come over he seriously becomes a major as at times. It's in his tone, the way he comes at me with an answer. I'm not sure if he does this to show he's the MAN or to show his boys the he has "balls". Like tonight at dinner he "scolded me" in front of his boys and my son and yes I could have continued going at it like he does with my children , I could have brought up the fact that if I EVEN told him that he was wrong in the situations of the past it would be my head that was served up on a platter for dinner........but I kept my mouth shut because one I already knew how this would be played out and two this has been a common thing with him when his boys come over. <br />
<br />
The funny thing is when his boys aren't here he seldom acts like an ass, he's sweet and kind.....but when they are around he hardens up and his responses are short and crude.........I choose my battles and this one is a waste of time. So I will drink my glass of wine....................roll my eyes and work on my classwork.<br />
<br />
......whats your vent for the day????Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2645859325297799344.post-74518925754983518142011-09-26T20:23:00.000-07:002011-09-26T20:24:09.782-07:00Beware.......I'm not my sweet self<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m pmsing ….. how do I know?? Well…….my desire for sweets
has been overwhelming but I did say no to the box donuts that sat in the
break room ALL day, I shed tears during animal hoarders on Saturday, my patience
is running thin, the migraine yesterday is a sign IT was on it's way and I’m so close to telling Ms. Twig here at work to shut the
f*&k up and toss the report that I am working on for Ms. “Can’t stand up
for myself” back on her desk. It took every ounce of me to just keep from going up to her and say "I know it was you and NOT ________ who has an issue with helping YOUR own team with calls but you have no problem with having YOUR team help you catch up on reports that YOU are so behind on"</div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5m1oushNgk8VORcZjsvaBsRcENXKqYxJKsWVmcfe1rFKgAKhtBffk9wTg3ZYSLQtrh8JIjzE_8O-oYRZETEjJNYhT2RR4ktYaKbrepuu-eV_zPfYQPJcqvdoKgEZyMPM-_QO8bV18mlkH/s1600/PMS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5m1oushNgk8VORcZjsvaBsRcENXKqYxJKsWVmcfe1rFKgAKhtBffk9wTg3ZYSLQtrh8JIjzE_8O-oYRZETEjJNYhT2RR4ktYaKbrepuu-eV_zPfYQPJcqvdoKgEZyMPM-_QO8bV18mlkH/s320/PMS.jpg" width="261" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2645859325297799344.post-30967213366393750832011-09-25T21:02:00.000-07:002011-09-25T21:02:04.704-07:00A visit from my fur grandpuppiesYou read that right......I'm really lucky that Lilys pups went out to my co-workers who allow me to see them and puppy sit them from time to time. Today, they came over for some play time.......<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_zjRd_zD_EnVU5rV2MCIPC83Yc2XRNGAdtRw59jid_H6QiO4PtVtoqp4mRqzqPKqvtD5WtF7tGDPq5MQRWlmagFr8ZKOEfMhcFKTPjwIMnBmp0zu6f5bIEyBtyMrPEqB12l0Ozsxm3RNK/s1600/011.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="156" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_zjRd_zD_EnVU5rV2MCIPC83Yc2XRNGAdtRw59jid_H6QiO4PtVtoqp4mRqzqPKqvtD5WtF7tGDPq5MQRWlmagFr8ZKOEfMhcFKTPjwIMnBmp0zu6f5bIEyBtyMrPEqB12l0Ozsxm3RNK/s320/011.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dart , Pepper, Hulk (Today)</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJANfEGdn-krvJ8O9rkBk-9737tpmmZ_HZOZKTNPS2ydPjj70APn7tUVy7dR06_tI7ljgijhvJOWGkLVN238L4_tbKCTEDxRX7S5zZqIW0P0vpT1ekNwKp97yze_-cJZX8j8JcZ8MC1uXe/s1600/010.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJANfEGdn-krvJ8O9rkBk-9737tpmmZ_HZOZKTNPS2ydPjj70APn7tUVy7dR06_tI7ljgijhvJOWGkLVN238L4_tbKCTEDxRX7S5zZqIW0P0vpT1ekNwKp97yze_-cJZX8j8JcZ8MC1uXe/s320/010.JPG" width="261" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">From the back.....Lily (mommy), Pepper (kissing mom), Dart and Hulk</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY_es9qbImGg-2Mn2wE0zR1Q8-eP1POXjnGt_4XM_LQcafQm9ZcbaOAgSz2IpARg33IFEpzqF5j6frF9XsN6OwjFWRNHVcgf2jNO4aN1qpmoOg56Fs_6LV-617_7_am0RZE18ImKxmTp60/s1600/019.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY_es9qbImGg-2Mn2wE0zR1Q8-eP1POXjnGt_4XM_LQcafQm9ZcbaOAgSz2IpARg33IFEpzqF5j6frF9XsN6OwjFWRNHVcgf2jNO4aN1qpmoOg56Fs_6LV-617_7_am0RZE18ImKxmTp60/s320/019.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Giving Hulky kisses<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjV_4vfgq8VEKL2TFSDNz1x2gtNBnx0Wk-iHRUomWaQxHG6ToYZnSnmiRRzMlTzf4C0uBNSa2kBX9rPTLQXGgXEfUA3lfS6mE_2jw4SvwL6TjCx482gYiHMqZuFtaz_ASiwIV7RTaecYEj/s1600/028.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjV_4vfgq8VEKL2TFSDNz1x2gtNBnx0Wk-iHRUomWaQxHG6ToYZnSnmiRRzMlTzf4C0uBNSa2kBX9rPTLQXGgXEfUA3lfS6mE_2jw4SvwL6TjCx482gYiHMqZuFtaz_ASiwIV7RTaecYEj/s320/028.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span id="goog_575150348"></span><span id="goog_575150349"></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2645859325297799344.post-71739705413749885072011-09-18T18:59:00.000-07:002011-09-18T18:59:36.533-07:00Garage sale find = kitchen demolitionWho knew a garage sale find would turn into a kitchen remodel!!<br />
<br />
We tore down this cabinet in the kitchen<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJidXCcILBIjBa7c5X1ftVdSOlRbCOTn-Ag6xOIVQrlhI-N2s4Hyy7MbfJsNJvj2cdezeCE0tW9p3V1KgLRRBVGqdw8TjRD81qu16cGOUexia-4xUwjw7llREOsHav-dkK06RDBT6xzhMb/s1600/339608_10150372117860280_708545279_10332636_820035207_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJidXCcILBIjBa7c5X1ftVdSOlRbCOTn-Ag6xOIVQrlhI-N2s4Hyy7MbfJsNJvj2cdezeCE0tW9p3V1KgLRRBVGqdw8TjRD81qu16cGOUexia-4xUwjw7llREOsHav-dkK06RDBT6xzhMb/s320/339608_10150372117860280_708545279_10332636_820035207_o.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
which totally left this gawd awful holes on the ceiling and wall<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq6Nzd5qis_qqVt1kbEHuk1vcSKY_FScFAxqk5nzNmhIGlqLa6wUuIGyrr2D5-sdeMb17wOF9gxH-LiPP6QjHyegL4v8Epgi90czHW8WEk9lo0PsrJ5yeHkcBTzdpo2Hf82lEDgW-MUW6f/s1600/340953_10150372119570280_708545279_10332672_1041690484_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq6Nzd5qis_qqVt1kbEHuk1vcSKY_FScFAxqk5nzNmhIGlqLa6wUuIGyrr2D5-sdeMb17wOF9gxH-LiPP6QjHyegL4v8Epgi90czHW8WEk9lo0PsrJ5yeHkcBTzdpo2Hf82lEDgW-MUW6f/s320/340953_10150372119570280_708545279_10332672_1041690484_o.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
So we took out some paint......patched up some holes and just in a few hours.......we got to bring in our garage sale find.<br />
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now........we need a smaller microwave.....in black. I LOVE my bakers rack and our spacious kitchen<br /><br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2645859325297799344.post-53651888942834577482011-09-18T15:37:00.000-07:002011-09-18T15:37:39.185-07:00Seriously??Friday was a day that left me thinking "SERIOUSLY?" .....heres why.<br />
<br />
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span>Me: good morning, can I get
your account number please</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span>Patient : I need to talk to a
live person</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span>Me: I’m sorry did you
say you need to speak to a live person? ( hmmm last time I checked I was
breathing and my voice isn’t computerized, so WTF?)</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span>Patient: Yes, I want to speak
to someone face to face.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span>Me: Ohhh ok here is the
address to our business office ……………….</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><div style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border: none; mso-element: para-border-div; padding: 0in 0in 1.0pt 0in;">
<div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="border: medium none; padding: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span>(seriously?)</span></span></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="border: medium none; padding: 0in;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span>Me: Good Morning can I please
get your account number</span></span></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span>Patient : Well, I’m just
calling because I have a bill and I have insurance</span></span></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span>Me: Your account balance shows
a zero balance</span></span></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span>Patient : Then why do I have
this bill?</span></span></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span>ME: what is the date of the
statement?</span></span></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span>Patient: The due date is May
26<sup>th</sup>.</span></span></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span>Me: Miss it’s September
16<sup>th</sup> you have an old statement. Please disregard the statement, the
balance is zero.</span></span></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span>Patient: what do you mean
disregard the statement</span></span></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span>ME: you can toss the statement
in the trash, file it away, do what you like with it, the balance is zero!</span></span></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span>Patient: so I don’t have
to worry about this then right?</span></span></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span>ME: (are you kidding me right
now!!!) yes your balance is zero, please don’t worry about the statement.</span></span></div>
<div style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.5pt; border: none; mso-element: para-border-div; padding: 0in 0in 1.0pt 0in;">
<div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="border: medium none; padding: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span>(seriously?)</span></span></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2645859325297799344.post-24426769141368341902011-09-12T20:24:00.000-07:002011-09-12T20:57:36.493-07:00Message from Cubeville-What NOT to text your girlfriend<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
While working on my latest assignment in the lunch room a co-workers
phone kept going off, she looked just as annoyed as I did by the 5<sup>th</sup>
“ding” from her cell. She looked up at me and said “It’s all about his penis….penis
this, penis that.” This is something you never hear in the lunch room, well I
haven’t.... I’m just lucky to hear about someones latest old women surgery or the
latest on grandkids. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I pushed aside my work which was her cue to talk. She then
explained that his way of romancing her is through texts about his penis. “it’s
hard just thinking of you”, “It can’t wait until your riding it”. “it wants to
feel you”……I start laughing because the way she was telling the situation was
like the penis was another person. She told me that this was his way of being
romantic but all it was doing was turning her off completely and she didn't want to get near him. I then blurted
out “he needs to step away from his member…..it’s not all about the penis doesn’t
he get that?”. She explained that there has been countless conversations
regarding his new found love for his penis.
“new found love for it? Did he hate it before”, we all started laughing
at how ridiculous this conversation started to become. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She expressed that all she would like is for his messages to
be of some substance unrelated to his member, unrelated to sex period because
all his “below the belt” talk is making her feel like she’s with a 20 something
year old and she closed that chapter along time ago. “Why can’t he just say he’s
thinking of me and not his penis”…….i looked over with a sarcastic grin and
said “well he just doesn’t know which head to think from he’s just a bit
confused but you have to somehow put the penis talk to rest!!” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I gathered up my stuff and chuckled the whole way back to my
desk.......messages with substance.....hmmmm well that's a thought!</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2645859325297799344.post-44302008303202246392011-09-10T12:05:00.000-07:002011-09-10T12:05:51.217-07:00Are you a Scary Mommy?<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span>While I was blog surfing I
came across a tag for scary mommy, curious I clicked on it and found out that
not only is it a blog but a confessional as well. Wow….a mommy
confessional who would have thought? Just random anonymous vents pertaining
to their day…..kid problems, spouse issues, life stress it’s all
out there and it’s not all negative rants about the husband these posts
are honest and heartfelt too. For example there was a post from a mother who
shared she is cancer free. This site has now become a daily read it somehow
makes me feel that I’m not the only out there that is having the same
problem. Did I mention you can get it on your Iphone, reading some of the
confessions sure makes my break go by fast!! </span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.scarymommy.com/"><br /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.scarymommy.com/"><br /></a></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2645859325297799344.post-90032316139035922902011-09-10T11:58:00.000-07:002011-09-10T11:58:04.599-07:00Gentle Cleanse? i don't think so<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
There's no such thing as a GENTLE cleanse.........it's all lies and nothing about what I am going through is anything but gentle!!!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<span id="goog_269306110"></span><span id="goog_269306111"></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2645859325297799344.post-48638587021887405262011-09-07T20:28:00.001-07:002011-09-07T21:14:01.759-07:00Decisions Decisions<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL6GjpdO8KyFtkfDCKw2xyjvsz_MwlIS7QsxR3iAPrbaADRG83VqWGvItn8-hGb71b_siS9p_neMyUkSRnYLa_Xm4ymUGmFYrWCU1j-zN039q2pAERFtaX38_TLUqC_1bZ8ZS9crYz1yZG/s1600/285812_10150358476535280_708545279_10242126_89333685_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL6GjpdO8KyFtkfDCKw2xyjvsz_MwlIS7QsxR3iAPrbaADRG83VqWGvItn8-hGb71b_siS9p_neMyUkSRnYLa_Xm4ymUGmFYrWCU1j-zN039q2pAERFtaX38_TLUqC_1bZ8ZS9crYz1yZG/s320/285812_10150358476535280_708545279_10242126_89333685_o.jpg" width="314" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
I just got back from a brief trip to see my sister and I had
a fabulous time. 3 ½ days just to myself
although I did make the occasional call to the mister to check on the house and
of course the fur kids…mainly Lily who hasn’t been away from me more than a
couple of days and from what I heard she was a bit peeved about me not coming
home at the normal time.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m not sure about you but I love flying but I love flying
when I can have the window seat and not have to worry about having to get up
when someone needs to use the bathroom and I don’t have to worry about invading
someone’s space or having my space invaded by two people. Normally when I fly I
come prepared with magazines and one book but more times than none I try and
catch up on sleep which is really hard to do when I’m stuck between two people.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I flew southwest and if you have ever flown on this airline
you pretty much get to choose your seat when you get on board. If you happen to
be in section C which means you are last to board you basically know that all
the good seats are taken so you can kiss any chance for a window seat goodbye.
This is what happened to me both times and each time there I am scanning the
rows. I have few things I look for and given the fact that I was sick I didn’t
feel like chatting it up, so I was looking for those that didn’t have a cherry “come
sit here” smile because I’ve fallen for that just thinking they were friendly
and all I ended up hearing was about her sorority days at Kama Kappa “who gives
a shit”, how she was going to visit her sorority sisters and how she went on
some extreme diet so she could look her best. So I bypassed anyone who fit that
description, I also passed by those businessmen who brought their office with
them because 9 times out of 10 he would be juggling a laptop, folders, a few pen’s
and papers. I sought after the quiet, shy types who wouldn’t even start up a
conversation with George Clooney if he was sitting next to them; I was looking
for those who were engrossed in a thick book who wouldn’t want to be bothered
by conversation.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I thought I did a good job on my way to Chicago but what I forgot to
think about was who was sitting in front of me and behind me. In front of me
was a 20 something girl who could pretty much be a member of Laguna beach who
happened to find her way next to some guy who could have been a member of some MTV reality show
and boy oh boy the chatted it up from the time they buckled their seat belts
till they landed. By the look and
actions of the girl I had a feeling she was hoping to become a member of the
mile high club. Did I mention she had just met him? Then behind me was the sorority
girl who couldn’t wait to share with the lucky girls seated next to her all
about her lawyer fiancé and their upcoming wedding. I did hear one of the girls
ask about her soon to be in-laws and sorority girl could wait to bash them with
her southern accent.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On my way back my choice in seats was very limited so I
found a place to stow my bag and plopped down between a person with a book and
an older gentlemen who looked like he didn’t want to be bothered. Once I
buckled up and viewed my surroundings I noticed that the man was holding a
ceramic mug tightly. Strange, I thought but disregarded it as a gift for
someone. I was wrong. After trying to sleep during my flight I kept getting interrupted
by him flagging down the airline staff for more coffee and do you think he used
their cups? Nope. He poured his coffee in the ceramic mug. Ok to each his own
until the coffee caught up with him and had to disturb me and the book lady 4
times during a 4 hour flight. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So the next time I decide to fly I will try my best to book
early on southwest or try for another airline where I can reserve a window
seat.</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2645859325297799344.post-66148335692844885282011-08-28T20:25:00.000-07:002011-08-28T20:25:24.433-07:00What do you mean .....in 300 words or less?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal">First assignment is due tomorrow and I completed it last week. So what’s the problem?…….the problem is it has to be between 150-300 words and I’m at 789. I need to some how take the blogger gal out of me and do some chopping!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>….so what goes and what stays……where are the judges from CHOPPED when you need them. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFV8wP61sqB27zAjn1qjrCLlG8rQh7q9uxh3-DWCuquhyx-T0kWtYVnK16SFHJG2RdGFTxmtG52nRK21IcnCNv64i9eKXbaDC3XNYyLhBAQTVzJ_DL_iy5BdF40IaeaBSQuYXKvKta5VMK/s1600/chopped.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFV8wP61sqB27zAjn1qjrCLlG8rQh7q9uxh3-DWCuquhyx-T0kWtYVnK16SFHJG2RdGFTxmtG52nRK21IcnCNv64i9eKXbaDC3XNYyLhBAQTVzJ_DL_iy5BdF40IaeaBSQuYXKvKta5VMK/s1600/chopped.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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Before the chop and many many redo's:<br />
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<div class="ecxmsonormal" style="text-align: justify;">Born and raised in the San Fernando Valley until I was 14, yes I was the typical valley girl until my parents uprooted my sister and I to this lovely Antelope Valley. Imagine the shock when I experienced my first 115 degree summer in the desert. It wasn’t pleasant and with enough protesting that we MUST go back to civilization my father put in a pool in the backyard to keep us entertained for the time being. Somehow I survived the desert through junior high and high school but vowed once I left the Antelope Valley I was never coming back. Well as you can see I’m back in Lancaster and the big man upstairs got the last laugh. </div><div class="ecxmsonormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="ecxmsonormal" style="text-align: justify;">I had to grow up quite fast my senior year because my boyfriend, soon to be husband (now ex husband) and I had a daughter and right after graduation we married, he joined the navy and was stationed in San Diego which meant we were headed there as well. What a difference from living in desert and you better believe we spent most of our free time at the beach. A young mom of a one-year-old, one on the way and wife of a military man wasn’t easy; we learned quickly that married life was more difficult than we thought. I only had wished back in senior year I paid attention when the teacher was talking about sex and budgeting. Four years later, three different military stations, two children and one on the way we decided to get a divorce. He stayed in Twenty-nine Palms and my children and I moved to the Midwest to be closer to my family. </div><div class="ecxmsonormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="ecxmsonormal" style="text-align: justify;">I would have to say my life really started when I left California and became a single mom of three little children. I quickly learned that no matter how hard I thought my life was I had to stop the self pity “it’s all about me” act because there were little ones depending on every action that I made. I don’t think I got a solid eight hours sleep for years and for some time I worked 2.5 jobs just to make ends meet. We spent close to five years in Wisconsin and the girl that first came to that little town with her three children wasn’t the same girl that left. I left as a women at the age of twenty eight who now knew what she wanted, knew how to fix a leaky sink, learned how to change a tire and taught myself how to shovel my car out of five feet of snow while enduring the wicked, bone chilling winters. </div><div class="ecxmsonormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="ecxmsonormal" style="text-align: justify;">Fast forward nine years, my oldest is twenty and is a junior in college, my seventeen year old is a senior and my youngest is a freshman and I would have to say being a mother has had its rewards but it’s been challenging at best. I learned that being their friend isn’t always advised and being their dictator will only end in hurtful words being thrown between the both of you. I lived in multiple cities trying to find the “perfect” job or gain the “right” experience just to make the “right” amount of money to survive in these trying times. I’m not in the perfect job but my experience got me to the point of making decent money, but I have decided that to truly be where I want to be in my life I needed to go back to school, which leads me to writing this bio for you all too read. I tried my hand at love and like a game of poker I lost big until two years ago when love literally knocked at the front door, we will be celebrating our one year anniversary this October.</div><div class="ecxmsonormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="ecxmsonormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>Our first year hasn’t been easy, it was certainly an eye opener living with someone other than my children because I had been on my own for fifteen years since the divorce and then throw in the fact that we became a blended family. 5 kids total, 3 dogs, 2 cats no wonder challenges started to build and chaos started to make itself known which only through counseling we were able to get a handle on. Honestly, there are times when I’m about to throw in the towel but what stops me is just thinking about that girl who was just 22, divorced, pregnant with 2 little girls heading to the Midwest and the struggles she faced and seriously nothing compares to the challenges I faced back then, but looking back I’ve come along way and it can only get better from here on out. Knock on wood.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2645859325297799344.post-421375440534989982011-08-27T11:32:00.000-07:002011-08-27T11:32:05.270-07:00The ManCHILDIt just baffles me when I'm at work and a call comes through and the person on the other line is just as irate as can be. As I am allowing them to ramble on and on about their bill I quickly review the account in front of me........................I realize when this person is talking about his/her child coming to our facility and this child isn't a child at all.....this child the parent keeps talking about is 30 years old.<br />
<br />
Before I kindly interupt this mothers rant a few things cross my mind<br />
<br />
1. why are you calling for your perfectly capable 30 something year old?<br />
2. it's time to cut the cord <br />
3. Stop please stop doing things for your manchild<br />
<br />
When I kindly interupt the mother I explain that I would need to speak to "mr.manchild" because he is over the age of 18 and an adult. Just imagine my surprise when I heard the mom say "well he's sleeping". I look at the time at it's 1:30........she continues to tell me that he can't possibly pay this bill because he doesn't work. I proceed to tell the mother that once "junior" wakes up to have him call us and we can discuss payment options with him.<br />
<br />
OK, I'm sorry if you are reading this and you still have your 20-30 year old attached to your nipple and you do everything for them but wipe their ass. It is unbelievable how many parents can't cut the cord or choose not to. It's one thing to show them the "how to's" of everyday life.......but to be the enabler to their every day life is plain destructive to THEM.<br />
<br />
In this situation I wanted to tell the mother to kick Mr,manchilds ass out of bed, get him on the phone and then direct him to the want ads. I get calls like this all day long and the parents have nothing but excuses......like a parent told me yesterday "he's only 20 years old he doesn't know anything about bills", and it being a long day I said "well Mrs. I was 18 ...married..and on my own and I had to learn the hard way and I have a 20 year old who lives in another state, putting herself through school....you just need to explain to them what they are receiving in the mail and have them call on their own".<br />
Believe me these calls are a wake up call for me ....... because believe me the first bill my child gets he/she will get right on it.<br />
<br />
This just reminds me on when my oldest was 18 and she was just about to leave for college but asked me to return something for her at walmart. I told her that I didn't have time and all she had to do was go to customer service and tell them you needed to return it. I of course heard huffs and puff and "i don't know how"......but I just told her she had to learn on her own....it's NOT hard. Now.......she's become a pro!!!<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2645859325297799344.post-4718489826211538992011-08-24T19:39:00.000-07:002011-08-24T19:39:50.434-07:00Seriously?<h1 style="text-align: center;">Ben Flajnik Is the Next Bachelor</h1><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgca5zqFIYDak83xyp-M_CFBH0-62sGcnxs5oDY8RCeRXMwmhiu-Oju8SDN-8xPP6TT306ICCW-q3TBpCO3Fmb8Oi6uUjTlHtNWmKKupmeivKMiUTQ-ksdBFB-BGzicaqbFhTmEoi-zOhOi/s1600/ben.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgca5zqFIYDak83xyp-M_CFBH0-62sGcnxs5oDY8RCeRXMwmhiu-Oju8SDN-8xPP6TT306ICCW-q3TBpCO3Fmb8Oi6uUjTlHtNWmKKupmeivKMiUTQ-ksdBFB-BGzicaqbFhTmEoi-zOhOi/s1600/ben.jpg" /></a></div><h1 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;">Really?? HIM.........just because Jennifer Love Hewitt had a bit of a crush on him and tweeted that she has to visit Sonoma County. Doesn't mean everyone else in America would fall for him too ....Do you NOT remember who she has dated in the past? </span></h1><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYpXGLW4ldIJLVBAgQYPtmdQFqUQQrtLlUQb0jlW473lSY5h_U76PhgmPVM2QoMi3FgXeNC8PzqCOq3pb5aYEq3jyx9fuxdFVgen_yiAnMRxni8N52cWaXjH338Upd72tg09-oU7UlzpTp/s1600/jennifer+love.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYpXGLW4ldIJLVBAgQYPtmdQFqUQQrtLlUQb0jlW473lSY5h_U76PhgmPVM2QoMi3FgXeNC8PzqCOq3pb5aYEq3jyx9fuxdFVgen_yiAnMRxni8N52cWaXjH338Upd72tg09-oU7UlzpTp/s1600/jennifer+love.jpg" /></a></div><h1 style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;">So I guess my Mondays will be free.....because I will NOT watch the Bachelor if Ben is on....like I said before he would be better off being Geico's caveman spokesman than the next Bachelor</span></h1><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6eW11zVoID_YFUR1uVTJM0I-8yoedOnIHf38JQlaG8TVDbumLP8lVs3TXitpDUiCAb1YwekGOoV3dc8BtoOAFkvT23bNa4QWbdYEnVf6RUdGhV9uQDBgqv8ffmp-9LDX3y7taFF12VwlY/s1600/ben1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6eW11zVoID_YFUR1uVTJM0I-8yoedOnIHf38JQlaG8TVDbumLP8lVs3TXitpDUiCAb1YwekGOoV3dc8BtoOAFkvT23bNa4QWbdYEnVf6RUdGhV9uQDBgqv8ffmp-9LDX3y7taFF12VwlY/s1600/ben1.jpg" /></a></div><h1 style="text-align: left;"><br />
</h1>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com