July 27, 2011

Now how is this my fault

"It’s your fault to mom, you shouldn’t have allowed me to have him over”. Excuse me ? now how in the world has this turned into my fault?

Let me explain……

I’m not sure If I ever mentioned that I was once married for a brief 5 years back when I was 18. “His royal highness” and I had 3 children and for reasons I don’t want to bring up now …..we filed for divorce….he moved on and dated a stripper and I moved to the chilly Midwest with my 2 little girls and a bun in the oven.

Now….unfortunately we now live in the same town that we grew up in and we both raise our children………separately of course. Our style of raising our children can be at times a battle…….and looking at the calendar I guess another round was due. This time it involves our 17 yr old daughter. 
So from what I gather from all this chaos is  when she was 5 years old she made an agreement with “his royal highness” that when she would start dating that she would introduce her boyfriend to him first. YES you read that right….she was 5!!!  Now she is 17 and this is the first time I have ever heard of the ridiculous agreement. I want to see the contract ……and her signature that would probably be scribbled in crayon.

Last night I asked “His Royal Highness” to make sure he dropped the kids off at my house at 12, of course there was issues with that request but I didn’t let him steal my joy. Then he wanted to know if I knew that our daughter had a boyfriend. I told him that yes I knew she was dating Jerry and that I thought he was a good kid….plus he’s been attending church with us because his parents don’t believe in God and he was questioning his faith so we invited him to go with us. ---- I had no clue that I was about to step into a world of chaos.

My daughters boyfriend was sitting on her fathers curb a few days ago. “HRH” was outside watering flowers but assumed that this kid outside was just someone from the neighborhood and when he asked my kids (who were inside) if they knew him they said no. It wasn’t until Jerry texted my daughter to come outside that they realized who was sitting out on the curb. -----Now, if some kid was sitting outside on my curb for 30 minutes I know I would ask the kid if everything was ok and ask what he wanted with my daughter, but that’s just me----So HRH kept stating that this kid was a coward and that I’ve disrespected him by not telling him about this boyfriend. He pretty much took it to a personal level and started to compare our teenage encounters to her which was totally of base. 1. She’s not pregnant 2. She’s still a virgin and 3. She has made a vow to wait till she is married to have sex…………. . It came to a point beyond ridiculous  and LATE. I told him this is NOT our battle it’s between her and him and there has to be a reason why she feels she can’t bring anyone to his house and that he has to work on his relationship with his daughter and leave me out of it and stop the mud slinging.  Of course in RH fashion he kept going, but picked it back up this morning at 8:30 with his fists beating loudly on his chest….texting me THE RULES. “she can’t date any one without me meeting them first, she can’t go any where with any boy, she can’t go to church with you any more “. Yeah you read the last one request right. What he doesn’t realize is that  my daughter will go wherever I take her when she is with me and I will not keep Jerry from going to church what type of Christian would that make me?  This isn’t HIS battle and he isn’t going to be shit out of luck because HRH is being ignorant.

I asked my daughter later how the conversation went with her father. She pretty much stated what he told me about meeting the guy first and not being allowed to go to church with me and that she knows it’s her fault but yet I should have never allowed him to come over. HOLD THE PHONE……….excuse me?  “what do you mean I shouldn’t have let him come over ? you aren’t turning this around on me now are you?”. Of course she was……she then proceeded to tell me her father read her the text messages between the two of us but I really doubt he shared the ones of him tearing her down and me putting him in his place. She then said “you shouldn’t have kept texting him?” ………I sat at my desk in disbelief. She’s defending him……of course I told her that this was complete BS and that I told her last night to take care of this and have her father stop with his bullying but she was too tired….it wasn’t important enough at the time and again this morning when I told her to put a stop to it……but yet I’m suppose to let him insult my daughter and me?….not this time. I asked her one last time if she allowed him to continue to insult me in front of her and her answer was “well we will talk about this later”….no we wont….i knew he did, I know when she is trying to back pedal her way out of this. I just couldn’t believe that it somehow became by fault.

She has just proven to me that she’s not mature enough to have a boyfriend or see him ,  mickey mouse or Donald duck for that matter!!! And if she dares to open her mouth and talk in any negative way she can kiss going to Ventura with HRH this weekend.