October 20, 2010

Things My Mother Never Shared With Me

The horror of ARM JIGGLE :

My mother never warned me that when I hit a certain age certain parts will start to sag. I swear I think I’m about to take off when I start to comb my hair and I see my arm flaps just flapping away so carelessly or when I’m blow drying my hair, and there it is.......hanging. Urggghhhh the torture. It reminds me of the scene in the sweetest thing when Christina Applegate shares her saggy under arm horror. That’s seriously what it is…..horror. There’s no magic cure, there’s no sag be gone, or sag under arm miracle cream…………………no you have to go to the gym or work out in the comfort of your home to make those things disappear.

Shit…..if my mother only told me about this I probably would have gotten a jump start on preventing the sagging under arm situation a long time ago. All she would have had to do was show me hers and I’d be sportin some nice arms at the age of 36.

So I pulled my daughter aside and warned her. I showed her what gravity can do to under arms if you neglect them. She wasn’t too horrified….but she can at least say that I warned her!!!!