March 18, 2011

Defiance

The dictionary states : Open or bold resistance to or disregard for authority, opposition or power---a challenging attitude or behavior; challenge.

I know it’s normal for kids to be defiant towards their parents once in a while and this normally leads to them being grounded or involved in a long winded talk that leaves the kids with a blank face staring at the ceiling just waiting for us to finish.
Lately I’ve been dealing with the defiance coming from a step kid and dealing with it is a little bit different then when the defiance is coming from one of my own children.  With my own I can scare the bejesus out of them and threaten to remove every single item from their room. When it comes to the step kids I have to step back a bit …. Because they have a tendency to share everything with their mom and at times paint of picture to her like some wicked stepmother. BELIEVE me…..they haven’t seen that side of me yet!!   Yeah it’s tough but they aren’t going to break me, especially his oldest.

Lately, if the oldest step-kid is told to mind the rules and I remind him or discipline him I get a very rude reply of “OHHH MY GOD!”….1. don’t Ohh my God me 2. God is not going to help you in this situation 3. Don’t use Gods name in that manner unless you are dying and needing his assistance. Thankfully the Mister heard him and he stepped in and set him straight which I think shocked him. I also found out that they don’t back talk their stepdad. So why me, why the disrespect  I’m not out there to make their lives a living hell. The Mister and I have set boundaries and rules and we try to keep them straight especially after all the chaos that we experienced a year ago regarding rule breaking and defiance, which I refuse to go back and have to deal with it again.

Here’s how I see it. I work my butt off all day, I hear nasty rude people on the other end of the phone for 8 hours a day and by the time I get home I refuse to put up with any rudeness. Now I do admit I can be snippy and inpatient with all the kids, but I’ve been trying to hold my tongue until absolutely necessary. The Mister and I aren’t strict parents but we have rules and if you continuously test the waters, lie or snap back then that’s when the foot will come down and the discipline will follow.