Tonight we were supposed to be packing for our one year
anniversary trip to San Francisco, instead I spent the day at the courthouse
filing a restraining order against my husband.
He hasn't been back since last weekends occurrence and he won't be back
for awhile. No, he's not in jail.....his mommy bailed him out of that mess. So
he's staying with his parents and taking care of his issues.
As far as me well, I'm taking it one day at a time. I have
my moments of break down, unexpected tears falling when I'm in line at a check
out stand and I look over and there's a man telling his wife he loves her, or
like yesterday when I was at my sons football game and a couple was cheering on
their son, the husband looks over to her and says "you're so pretty, I
love you". I tried to be incognito
and wipe the tears away but you can only do so much, so I sat in my car until I
could get it together.
When the anxiety hits I use the tools my counselor said I
should do.....sometimes it works and sometimes well I just get upset. Who wants
to imagine themselves on a beach when you're ticked off at the man who was
suppose to protect you? I don't!!! I
know some day I will get over the fear, get over the anxiety and become strong
again....but it will take time.....................a long time.
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